Twenty-one. Of clearing rooms

broomi put to you this: the level of friendship or trust can be measured by how much one cleans their home before the arrival of someone.

and thus, i make the following list of people arriving, their labels, and the corresponding amount of cleaning:

total strangers one has invited for unknown reason
total strangers who have invited themselves for no reason
official people who have announced their advent

clean the whole house, paying particular attention to places that have rust, dust and strange spots; start a week before the imminent arrival and do not forget to wash the windows


colleagues from work
acquaintances one does not know how to deal with
one’s ex
one’s boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parent(s)
one’s relatives who would ‘just drop in for a moment’

clean the whole house. then clean it again. imagine what rumours there would be, and clean some more


one’s acquaintances one has shared some rough camping time with
one’s girl/boyfriend in initial stages of dating
people who just call and say sth like – ‘ok, i’ll drop by with something tasty, say…this thursday?’
one’s relatives who are not that talkative

clean most of the house, but do not bother with the places that are above the eye-level. concentrate on the floor, bookshelves and the general look


one’s boy/girlfriend in advanced stages of dating
siblings (if they do not classify as ‘other relatives’)

wash the floor. pick up the stray socks and other stuff heaped on the floor during the week. leave the desk as it is, who are you going to surprise?


close friends
those people who just turn up to check on you when you are sick (and there is nothing you can do)

there is nothing that will surprise these visitors – they have adopted you and, probably, your ‘den’. so…keep it tidy at all times, but do not apologise for the weekly sock migration, rickety heaps of student papers on the floor, the few beer cans and the rest that you normally show to no stranger. 

be grateful that you have no more than 3 of these people in your life.

or else your home would never be clean.

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