and so i was standing there, in the darkness, and listening.
to the bat song, and to the trees talking to the wind.
to the smell of almost fallen leaves, and raw earth from the fresh fields.
and how the stars move and the clouds stand still.
so simple. so irreversible.
life moves from a point forward, and even returning to the same point, it is never the same. and sometimes the next stop is the station of transition.
i should feel something, because that is how they say people work. but i feel nothing. neither fear, nor anticipation, nor curiosity, nor pain, nor anything else. it is like a plug had been taken out, and all emotions drained from me.
i watch my body talk to people. some of it makes sense. some does not.
my bones hurt. my head hurts. and the painkillers do not seem to work. and i do not care about this either.
maybe i’ll wake up from this, and it will only have been a dream, unconnected to the darkness that is coming over the horizon. or maybe not.
sometimes being me has a downside.