another conjunction

even if

living here, one is supposed to be proud of the winters with their cold and snow and blizzards and ice and whatnot, and sort of look down on the ‘southern softies’,

i sometimes think that a more temperate climate would be an advantage.

i am bored by monochrome.

i want daffodils.

but the only green-yellows i see are the tom-tits at the bird feeder. they do not lack in beauty or courage, of course. but their presence by my window only confirms the absolute rule of winter.

and just like i wished for snow in the dark side of the year, i long for the smell of melting earth, of the first grass blades, the change of pitch in the twitter of birds.

even if this spring is time i do not want to live through.

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