of time machine and unrelated matters

things one might want but never has

  • ontological metaphor for a pet
  • cyberspace rocket
  • anthropological ruler
  • spirit guide for parties
  • discriminator between justice and mercy
  • a snark (but not a boojum)
  • deconfuser for everyday situations
  • shrimping underwear
  • hairsplitting tools
  • failproof loom of fate
  • wireless mouse trap
  • same orbit detector
  • procrastination space folding machine
  • invisible back-scratcher
  • backspace key for progress
  • rain-detecting umbrella (self-propelled, of course)

yes, this is another one of those lists that make sense only ironically.

after the nervous breakdown last friday, this is the best i have been able to come up with.

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